


nothing in life is free

by softintelligence



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-03-03 04:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2837729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softintelligence/pseuds/softintelligence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pacific Rim Fusion, with Kagami and Himuro as Jaeger pilots. Fighting kaiju goes as well as playing basketball together, which is to say: not at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	nothing in life is free

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Basketball Poet Society](http://basketballpoetsociety.tumblr.com)'s challenge 100: Crossovers.

When the Kaiju rips off the left arm of your Jaeger, it's not your emotions you feel, but Taiga's: his fear, desperation, panic, all overpowering your heart and making it beat to the frantic rhythm of his voice, saying your name, "Tatsuya, Tatsuya, stay with me," the right arm of the Jaeger coming up to shield the broken socket of the left arm as though to hold back the pain you feel. 

It's cute how Taiga thinks it'll change anything when you've already given up. 

The Kaiju rips off the left side of the connection pod, opens you up to the storm above and the sea below, and you look over at Taiga and you think or say or gesture or maybe all three at once, you don't really know and what difference does it make when you're hooked into someone else's mind--

"Don't think of me as your brother." 

Taiga's confusion and despair washes over you like a cold shower, and then as the Kaiju rips you and some of the equipment out, you feel nothing. Your body's hurtling down into the water faster than you can tell and when you hit the water with the chunk of Jaeger you're still attached to, your teeth shake almost hard enough to shatter, but at least there is this nothingness inside of you. 

You almost feel calm while you struggle, reaching behind you in the water, feeling jerked around like by the sea, looking for the safety release. It's there, you know it is, you just have to hit it, that's all, this is your last feeble attempt to survive and you have to make the most of it, even if you're not sure why, what's the point of it all, why are you trying so hard, why are you struggling. 

Your suit cracks, probably from the combination of water pressure and impact damage. You don't have much time as the relay gel is replaced with water, but at least, you've heard that drowning is a peaceful way to die. 

Anyway, it's not like Taiga would wait for you.

\---

You're awake, Tatsuya. A blessing and a curse, like the rest of your life.

You're clinging desperately to some slippery debris of the Kaiju or Jaeger or whatever, you can't really tell the difference anymore anyway, your vision blurring every half a second. 

There's no god to save you, just your half-torn suit weighing you down, your fingers turning blue, your lips numb. One hundred feet away, you can see it--your salvation, but even that seems too far even as the silver ring hanging from the chain around your neck burns into your chest.

It's cute, how Taiga thinks this ring will change anything. 

You swim. You drag your fucked up suit and your body, half-corpse already, toward the shoreline, and it takes all you have in you not to let go and let your body sink to the ocean floor, to close your eyes. But you struggle anyway, one arm over the other, your arms and lungs burning. 

You laugh a little bit at the odds of it all, you reaching the shore with your suit on, not dying from hypothermia and all. 

Well, you're stubborn as always, aren't you, Tatsuya. 

A wave slams into you from behind. You're close enough you can smell the sand. It smells like California, or maybe that's just the exhaustion, the hope that maybe it is California, maybe it is Los Angeles. Look at you, pathetic as always. There's nothing waiting for you in Los Angeles. 

There's no one waiting for you. 

\--- 

They send you back to the facility and hook you up in the ICU because apparently you can't be trusted to be on your own, throwing around words like "nearly dead" and "miracle" and when you ask if you can see Taiga, they send Alex instead. 

"You can't see him," Alex says, and you wish you could read her expression, wished that you had learned from someone else just so you could tell what the fuck she's thinking.

"Why," you say. "Why can't I see him." 

"He's been assigned a new partner." She pauses and for a moment you get angry, because you think she's trying to spare your feelings, but then she continues and says, "He was assigned to our best pilot, Tatsuya."

Ah.

You look up at the ceiling. You knew this. You predicted it--that no one would be waiting for you, that not even Taiga would be waiting for you. 

"We haven't told him you're back yet," Alex says. "We think it'll throw him off. It'll be easier if he thinks you had to do some other training. The facility is big enough he won't run into you.

"They still have to run some tests." Her voice is more gentle, now that she's not putting your heart on a goddam skewer. "Taiga is lucky he didn't suffer any scars from piloting his Jaeger by himself, and you're lucky you didn't die from suddenly being ejected from the Drift."

Lucky.

"This isn't fair."

Of course it's not fair. You knew that, Tatsuya.

\---

You take the ring off your neck and put it away in your new room--not the one you share with Taiga anymore.

They're still looking for your replacement partner. Whatever. You can wait. You work in the engineering room in the meantime because fixing up Jaeger parts is helluva lot more interesting than sitting in the recovery room, and you learn a few things here and there, anyway, about making Jaegers work better. Smoother. 

Against your better judgment, you seek out Taiga, just once. Just from afar. He's with his new partner: tall, dark, handsome, holding a basketball in his hands. Taiga's fond of basketball. 

Taiga talks to his partner loudly, pushes him a little. You squint at him from a distance, see something glittering around Taiga's neck. 

You walk down the hallway. He still remembers you. Still thinks of you, maybe. But his eyes aren't sad, and you slam your fist against the wall, make a noise, try to pretend you're not crying like you're six years old with scraped knees all over again.

It's cute how much you thought this wouldn't hurt, but it's too late to go back now.

You're alone.


End file.
